A (Realistically) Motivational Approach to Fitness
In my pursuit of fitness and well-being, I often set lofty goals and high expectations… and then fall short. It makes sense that we want to aim for the top. Of course we do, we want to be the best we can be. We envision intense workouts, strict nutrition protocols, and unwavering dedication. More often than not, we fail (only 19% of people stay true to their new year's resolutions two years later). We have a difficult time staying motivated, and, time after time, we give up, well before accomplishing our goals.
We don’t need to fall off the motivation cliff. Oftentimes it's not about reaching the peak of perfection, but rather, simply taking the first step. Let’s explore how keeping the bar low can help us stay motivated and achieve long-term, sustainable success in our fitness and longevity journeys.
Sometimes I’m extremely motivated by the best of the best – David Goggins running 50-miles, no matter the heat or the cold, Pure Barre instructors kicking my butt, Dr. Peter Attia pounding into me the imperative nature of strength and cardiovascular fitness as I age. The list goes on. I love listening to, and learning from, the elites. I value their words, wisdom, and motivation. AsSir Isaac Newton said, “If I have seen further, it is by standing on the shoulders of giants.”
But other times, I find myself tuning out when I compare myself to perceived perfection. I can feel discouraged when experts tell me to cold plunge, sauna, take an endless list of supplements, or workout for an hour every day. I hear my inner cynic say, “I don’t even have a cold plunge,” or “Unlike you, I have a full-time job, kids, and no nanny.”
Those limiting beliefs are entirely useless voices in my head. They serve no purpose. What others do more or less of than me is completely irrelevant to my health and aging.
There are times when I go to the gym and feel sluggish or out-of-shape. Maybe I feel old, lift less than the person next to me, and I'll feel bad about it. Not only does my subconscious mind tempt me to compare myself to others (and to my younger self), it also points out that I don’t need to endure the discomfort of comparison if I just stay home on my couch. Comparison might be the thief of joy, but the couch robs us of much more than that.
How long another person can stay in Zone 2 cardio makes no difference to my lungs, heart, or blood. None at all. The only physical thing that matters to my real, quantitative physiology and longevity is my personal strength, my personal cardiovascular health, my personal VO₂ max. Comparing ourselves to others (or other versions of ourselves) is irrational, detrimental, and possibly even life-threatening. It’s also real and something almost all of us are familiar with. Instead, we need to focus on our future selves and who we want to be as we age.
Imagine your 85-year-old self and how that looks if you continue on your current trajectory. Are you happy with where you’re headed? Are you happy with what that 85-year-old version of yourself can (or can't) do, think, and experience? (Remember, the equivalent to lifting a suitcase at 85, might be lifting your own bodyweight now). When I find myself tempted to choose short-term comfort over long-term wellbeing, I remind myself of the 85-year-old man I want to be. He’s strong, flexible, can pick up his great grandchildren, and he can still help his wife stow her suitcase in an overhead bin.
As Dr. Gary Brecka says, “Aging is the aggressive pursuit of comfort.” Being a little uncomfortable now results in us being much more comfortable in our later years.
A surf instructor once told me to stop looking around at the others in the line-up. “You’re here for yourself and the ocean, and the ocean doesn’t give a fuck if you catch that wave.” I love that advice!
Your muscles don’t know or care if Layne Norton lifts more weight than you, or if your 16-year-old daughter can do more pull-ups than you—they only know if you’re incorporating strength training into your own life. Your tendons don’t care if Melissa Wood has more money or time to do pilates than you—they only know if you’re exercising and stretching regularly.
Remember: Do what you can do with what you have, where you are. That’s all you can do.
The Thrivespan logo is a peacock looking over its shoulder, which serves as a reminder that longevity only makes sense—only has a purpose, can only be evaluated—looking backwards. Only when we are near our goal or accomplish it, does the dedication, time, and energy invested over a matter of years come into focus.
Instead of comparing how much weight I can lift at 55 compared to what I could at 35, I focus on what I need to do now to ensure I can lift my great grandchildren and suitcases at 85. See the difference?
When I see the low weight on my bar today, I need to remind myself, it’s okay to lower the bar of my expectations today because I am focused on tomorrow.